Josephine, from the 2011 documentary series My New Home, interviewed August 2017 in Tynemouth.
Did you ever regret letting me film you?
No, not at all. I don’t regret… not one thing.
There must have been moments when you regretted it?!
You know the moments that I regretted it… well the last thing I wanted was to put my children at risk. That was the moment when I wished that I had not done it. Wishing otherwise, it could have turned out differently. But it wasn’t a very easy choice. Cos not saying anything was also wrong in its own way. I wanted people to know the real truth about life and what happens. When we were doing documentaries there wasn’t anything that was fake, you know what I mean? I didn’t prepare to be filmed or anything. It was just like real life. So some times if I’m commenting on anything it will be really genuine and that was what I was thinking at that moment.
So you didn’t feel like you were playing a character or anything? Doing what you thought you should do?
No!!! Because from the beginning it was clear. I was saying what do I have to do? What do I have to do? And you don’t have to do anything, just be yourself. And that was what it was.
Do you remember the first day we met, when I explained to you that I wanted to film with you fir five years… and you were like Yeah that’s fine, we can do it. And I remember saying to you Do you not want to take some time to think about it? Are you sure you want to do it? And you were so angry that I asked that. Do you remember?
I don’t remember that!
You were like: I can make the decision - why are you questioning it?!
I don’t remember but I think that at that time I really didn’t want someone to over-question me. I was a very angry mother - I missed my children so much. I hated the system with a passion. And I think that anger would go out onto anyone. I didn’t see my son since he was 5 - I had no idea what he looked like. I pretended to be happy when I am talking to him on the phone, but inside myself I was crying every minute. It was a nightmare and I couldn’t live with that. because I felt that I am guilty, because I chose to come and live in England, and I’m selfish. Even for my daughter Memento it was worse, because she started her period… I didn’t even have any idea what happened. I had no time… I wasn’t even given the opportunity to advise as a mother. So the anger that you have… on the system, on everybody around me.
Did your kids ever say to you… Mum this is hard enough…why do we have to experience it all on television?!
No, what happens is when they came it was the first thing that they knew. They didn’t know anything else. It was their normal. It was me that was questioning myself, because they haven’t lived in the country they didn’t know anything about it. They didn’t know what to hide, what not to hide. It was good in the sense that it was raw, fresh… everybody was speaking out their mind and it was genuine. And I think that came across. We had so many families who actually related to us, and they formed their own Facebook group, whereby they would say That family is coming! And when I went to a party at Nando’s in London, this lady said I know you! And I was like no… and she said yes I know you.. are you not Marshal’s mum? And that was too much, for somebody to call you Marshal’s mum… from TV! Oh right yes! And then she started telling me that we have a Facebook group where people come and comment on what she has done today, what they have done today, and they are liking her more than the other mums because of her boldness and courage lalala! It was so interesting and I was like wow laaaaaa I should love you a hundred times! And then I said can I go in the group and she said no, because we are talking about you in the group!
We didn’t have to act anything. It was just normal life, and Daisy following us around with a camera. So nobody had expectations of anything, except just being us.
Do you think it has changed your family at all, to be so public?
Yes it has changed our life in many ways. On the negative, when people think that what we have done or said is wrong, they will just literally hate us for no apparent reason and we wouldn’t even be knowing. And sometimes on social media they can actually try to attack and things like that… so that was a negative. But um… on the positive it has actually… I can see it through Mento. She stands out and she likes to speak out. And she wasn’t like that when we… I think confidence. Everybody has been boosted in their confidence. It didn’t happen like hey here is your confidence coming! It happened gradually, when we were living and experiencing and talking and hearing the feedback and everything. I think… it was a good outcome. I kind of felt that your filming is very eloquent, and different. It make you feel at home. You don’t feel pressured to do anything and I think that way you actually get more out of people than if you would be questioning them… Why did you do that etc It is totally different. Most journalists would be having the answer first before they even asked you. Everyone was free to share what they wanted… there was no pressure. So yeah… well done Daisy!
There were some points whereby filming would be monotonous because you know what I mean? Every time you would always be with somebody and you just wanna be free and do your own thing, without somebody filming you. But it was impossible cos I already signed up to the film. Daisy’s calling and… Can I come next week? Can I come tomorrow?! And I was like no, no, no! And I thought I’m saying no to everything! That was the pressure we were under. And I kind of feel it now for the celebrities! It is so hard to have everybody following you every day of your life. If I had some money I would have gone to Hawaii!
So do you think people in documentaries deserve to be paid?
I think they do in a way… as a token of thank you for having to commit. It’s more than writing a book. And it’s your life… one in the limelight, two the risks you might have to face, after all this bullying, racism, abuse on Twitter and stuff that can happen. And this is a permanent story. Nobody can erase. To me doing a documentary is like writing a book. And people subscribe and pay… and we get totally nothing. And I don’t think it’s fair on the participants. Even if they weren’t working. Having a camera film you all the time for the rest of your life that you are in it… I think it deserves some form of payment… in fact huge payment. This is my life and it’s never gonna change. And we have change things for a lot of people who have learned from what we have done, what we have experienced. And it’s permanent.
It’s a strange experience isn’t it because I think often in life we re-write what happened. But you can’t do that, because yours is on film.
Yeah you just live what is going to happen on that day. It’s genuine…. everything is genuine on the documentary. I’ve never seen one person who pretended to be what they are not, because its just like normal real life.
Do you think people on television pretend a lot?
Yes, wow, those people are so much in trouble. They have so many expectations… what do they want people to see them as? How they dress? What their make up is like… And after that they rehearse 100 times what they want say and maybe delete it 100 times. It’s different.
Are you glad we didn’t do it like that?
yes I am glad we didn’t do it like that… because it would have been boring.
How did you feel about the way that I represented you? Did you like the way I made you look? Or did you think that’s just the way she sees me, it’s not how I really am?
Er… did you have any influence on the way we seemed? I don’t think that you did. Because the way you film is totally different from other things as I said… because you just allow people to be themselves. So it wouldn’t be… you were allowing us to be what? Everyone was just being what they were, and that is exactly what the film was intending to be.